Do You Need A Safe Deposit Box? No.

A safe deposit box, like a storage locker, is just an additional expense you likely don't need.

When I was younger, we had a safe deposit box.  Why?  Well, my parents always had one, and it seemed the responsible and adult thing to do.  What do you keep in it?  Well, your valuable papers!  Your expensive jewelry!  Your gold coin collection!  Your stock certificates!

Or maybe not. 

Very few papers are all that valuable.  If the deed to your house is recorded at the County Clerk's Office, having the recording copy is not such a big deal.   Even if you lose it, no one is going to say you don't own your own home.   And no one wants to steal such papers, either.  A small house safe (with a good fire rating) is probably a better bet - it pays for itself within a year (compared to safe deposit box rental fees) and can hold any papers you think are that important, such as your birth certificate and passport.  But in reality, even these can be obtained if the originals are lost.  Being paranoid about documents is really kind of silly.

Things like Wills, Medical Powers of Attorney, Durable Powers of Attorney, and the like are important documents.  But a home safe is more than adequate in most cases.  If you had an attorney draft your will, they might keep a copy in their files.  Or you can make multiple copies (with original signatures) and keep them in different locations, if you are that paranoid.  For most middle-class people, however, a Will is really unnecessary, as most properties can pass by right of survivorship.  Even if all copies of my Will were lost, much of my Estate would transfer as I have indicated anyway, as my retirement accounts, bank accounts, cars, houses, etc. are all in joint tenancy with right of survivorship.

If you have made your estate more complicated that this, ask yourself why, and why you are relying on a Will (which can be challenged) to transfer assets, when there are other ways.

Our local hospital keeps a medical power of attorney on file.   Some financial advisers recommend keeping original signed copies in your car.  If you are traveling and your partner is injured, you need access to these documents right away (if you are married, this point is moot).

What about your expensive jewelry?  That diamond necklace that you don't dare keep around the house, lest the crack addicts steal it?  Well, if you own something that you think is always on the verge of being stolen, I suggest you sell it, or move to a better neighborhood.  Fancy jewelry is nice and all, but if you are too scared to keep it and wear it and have to keep it locked up all the time, what is the point?  And as an investment, you are probably better off selling it and buying some equity or bond that generates income.

As a rule of thumb, I think it is a good idea to never own anything that, for your income level, you could not afford to lose.  Particularly tiny things like watches, jewelry, electronics and the like.   A $5000 Swiss Watch is a nice toy - for someone making a Million dollars a year.  But it is just unnecessary stress for someone making $100,000 a year.  Simply stated, you can't really afford it, if you can't afford to lose it.  You're just playing at being rich, which is short-sighted.

Gold coins and collectibles are usually bad "investments" as historically, they under-perform the stock market.  Even gold, with its meteoric rise from 2005-2010 (but relatively flat since then) is not big money maker.  A 200-300% gain is nothing spectacular, over time, particularly when it can go down just as quickly.  And if you have to pay rent on a place to keep it?  That sort of adds a carrying cost.  Physically owning minerals can be the most expensive way to invest in them, anyway, as you have to pay a premium to buy them and sell for below market when you sell.  Dealers want a taste at either end of the transaction.

Physically holding stock certificates, other than as wall decorations (and some are rather attractive) is nonsense today.  You can keep your stocks in an online trading account, or on the "book" of most companies.  Not only is it safer, it is easier to buy and sell when the time comes.  Physical stock certificates, when lost, can be a pain to replace - and your ownership even then is determined by the book entry of the company, not your physical ownership of a piece of paper.

Safe deposit boxes end up like storage lockers.  People put things in them and then forget what they put there.  And then when they finally go to look at them, they realize what a load of junk they have in there.

I gave up on the safe deposit box about 15 years ago.  It just seemed so unnecessary for someone in my income and wealth range (average schmuck).  I will leave them to the folks with stolen Nazi gold bars and the proceeds of that bank robbery or diamond heist.  Because frankly, I can't think of any real need to pay $100 a year or so to store a lot of junk.

The Music Industry

The music industry is probably the first serious marketing exploit that most young people interact with.  The Music business takes talentless hacks, packages them into a salable commodity based on emotional hooks and posturing, and the sells it to kids, at a huge mark-up.  It is only years later, if ever, that most people realize they were snookered.

The Music Industry is an oxymoron.  Music is art, not an industry, and when someone takes art and makes it commercial, in general their intentions are not good.   They are taking something that is basically free or inexpensive, and hyping the price into the stratosphere.

Mankind has always had an affinity to music, which seems to calm the brain and encourage creativity.  But until fairly recently, not many people made much money in the music "business".  Early composers never made very much - Mozart died broke and was buried in a pauper's grave.  Musical performers were usually itinerant and traveled from town to town, hoping to play a few gigs and get fed and maybe a few coins.  You never let your daughter marry a musician.  The Rock Star, as we know it, did not exist.

The emergence of mass media, first in the form of the Victrola (record player) and later in the form of radio, lead to the establishment of major bands, singers, performers, record companies and record labels.  Prior to that time, if you wanted to hear music, well, you pretty much had to learn a musical instrument and then play it.  Music was home-grown and home-made.

But by the 1930's, musical superstars were emerging, as a single performer could perform for millions at a time, over the radio, and sell millions of copies of his songs, via records.  Prior to that time, a performer could hope, at best, to sing to a few hundred at a time, at most, and maybe a few thousand, over a year.

And early on, record companies and radio networks realized they could take a lion's share of this money.   A successful performer back then might make tens of thousands of dollars (today, Millions) but the record companies and radio stations would make Millions (today, Billions).

And early on, the record companies realized that the largest audience for their product was young people.  The dawn of the youth culture was emerging, and an entire generation defined itself by the music it listened to - music that often annoyed their parents, which often was the point.  Jazz and Big Band music seemed modern and hip.  And one way to be "with it" with your peers was to be sure to select the same popular songs they liked as well.

But another trend emerged early on.  Despite being an aural media, the music business is very visual as well.  Successful music acts, even back then, had compelling stories behind them or charismatic band leaders.  Bobbysoxers went nuts over a young Frank Sinatra not only because of his golden voice (or in spite of it) but because of his exuberant sex appeal.  That is why they screamed so loudly - 30 years before the Beatles.

After World War II, the process accelerated.  A new generation of even more affluent youth was arising, with more money to spend on music, and a need for even more compelling imagery and posturing.  Rock and Roll became the music of rebellious youth, and Elvis, like Sinatra before him, found he could sell 45's by swinging his hips just so.

The process only accelerated into the 1960's and 1970's.  Kids quickly identified themselves with rock groups, starting often in grade school.  And whether you liked the Beatles or the Monkees said volumes about who you were.  Not surprisingly, both had television shows - the Monkees a sitcom, and the Beatles a Saturday morning cartoon show.

Despite the inherent visual nature of music, the "industry" would not catch on to this aspect for another 20 years, when music videos came onto the scene.  Prior to that time, rare guest appearances on "American Band Stand" and "Soul Train" as well as the "Ed Sullivan Show" meant that most rock fans saw their favorite stars only at live concerts or in the album art.

And many trace the decline of the music business to the introduction of online music sharing or the iPod.  But I think the CD is the real start of the decline.  Large format LP albums allowed for large format artwork, particularly in double-albums or albums with page inserts or liner notes.  Fans could get a good look at their favorite band, along with the outrageous costumes and de rigeur posturing, all carefully designed to appeal to deep psychological needs of teens.

Sexuality sells, of course, and even sexual ambiguity sells, hence the popularity of the "Glam Rock" era as well as many songs which celebrate androgyny or sexual confusion (Lo, lo, lo, Lo-la!).   Tied right in with this are, of course death images (skulls and the like) as well as the whiff of danger and violence.  It is a potent incense that appeals to the teen spirit, and sells like hotcakes.  The music is often only secondary.

Without the large format of the album cover, it was harder to sell music based on image.  But MTV did come to the rescue - at least for a while.  Music videos sold the imagery of music much more effectively than album art.  And if you close your eyes, you can see, in your head, snippets of a Michael Jackson video, as I type this.  It was compelling imagery and a powerful "hook."

But alas, video did not kill the radio star - reality television did.   For some reason, MTV decided that music videos were so-last-year and switched to reality shows.  And this is a shame - for the music business - as music videos sold a lot of records.  Kids need to be told which records to buy, and today, there is no mechanism for doing so.

In the days of Payola, DJ's took bribes to play new artists, which then became popular and the kids bought the records.  Today, most radio stations play a prescribed playlist of "classic" rock, which is not new music and doesn't generate album sales.  The radio stations and record companies had a falling out, as the radio stations realized that their sell-job for the record company was fine and all - for the record company - but that they got nothing out of it.

How do the kids find the stars today?  Reality TeeVee.  Shows like "America's Idol" end up creating pop stars, who go on to sell platinum albums - mostly singing the same old standards from 1930 until today.  The industry is eating itself, at this point.

But the main reason for the decline of the music industry is that our population is getting older, and many of us look back on our rock and roll days and cringe.  We used to think that band was good?  We listen to it today and scratch our heads.  It seemed good at the time.  But then we realize that we bought into not the music, but the posturing and the package being sold - and emotional package, not a musical one.

The few songs still popular from that era are still be sold to us - on a different emotional level - nostalgia.  I recently was roofing a house with a neighbor and was listening to the "same old oldies" station, which plays "Brown Eyed Girl" twice an hour.  With each song, my friend had a story about growing up in Connecticut, dating some girl, or making it to second base in the back seat of his '62 Chevy.  The music still sells - and still has great emotional hooks.

The image above is of Def Leppard, the band who ruined my love of Rock and Roll.  When this band hit it big, I was just reaching that age where playing music all the time didn't seem as important to me as it had just a few years previously.   Newer bands were coming on the scene, and the music they played sounded, well, like crap.  A friend told me that at the local radio station where he worked, the Def Leppard records were hyped by the station owner, who was paid by the local record promoter - in cocaine - to make sure they got air play.

And they did, and I am sure that some kids listened to the music - and more importantly saw the images of the pouty and sexually dangerous rock stars (who for some odd reason, in the image above, appear to be three middle-aged men about to sodomize two teenaged boys) and thought, "Yea, man!  Rock On!" and went out to buy the album, the t-shirt, the concert tickets, and the whole package of crap that goes with it.

One could ague that the Internet and/or YouTube are going to revolutionize the music business.  And I think they will.  But what will revive the business is not postage-stamp size album art on iPods, but the music videos on YouTube that once again allow a band to sell its imagery, not just the music.

And today, as in years past, imagery sells.  Whether it is the dangerous and sexual "gansta" of the rap world, or the moody and depressed (and sexually ambiguous) "Emo" grunge-look dirge band, the effect is the same.  Image sells.  No one buys music in the abstract, and perhaps they never did.

And that is the deal right there - music is all about marketing.  And marketing is all about selling to you emotionally not logically.  A logical argument to buy music would be "Hey, this is good music" - but that rarely carries the day.  What sells is, "Hey, this is one bad-ass rap star" or "The drummer is on Heroin".

I realized this the other day in an antique store.   The proprietor was playing (on his iPod) a vocalist that sounded familiar.  I asked him who it was, and he said "Amy Winehouse".  Now, for most folks, Amy Winehouse was a troubled bad-girl drug-user (a popular image) who died too young (a popular trope) who wrote a song about going into rehab.  Or not going - whatever.

And that is the image the media sells, because image sells albums.  But she did do a small body of impressive work outside of the pop song genre.  But alas, those songs rarely get airplay.  Because people want to hear the bad-ass rehab song.  Marketing.  Posturing.  Selling emotions.

So, it is hard for me to take the music industry seriously anymore, mostly because they don't sell music, they sell a set of pre-made adolescent attitudes that you are supposed to try on and wear like a suit of clothes.  And increasingly, people are wearing these suits of emotions which are wildly inappropriate for their own lives - the suburban white teen, for example, who listens to hard-core rap and wears his pants down so his underwear shows.  It is a ridiculous set of values to adopt, and arguably a very harmful set as well.

And I guess what cracks me up about that sort of thing is that when you question them about it, they say, "Well, I'm just trying to express myself and be an individual!"  But being an individual doesn't mean copying, or more correctly, purchasing a persona off-the-shelf, particularly one identical to millions of others.  That is not expression or individualism, but just being a Lemming.

And unfortunately, that is what the "music industry" sells, far more than just music.

The Razor Scam

Why are razor blades so staggeringly expensive?

I don't agree with the Taliban about much, but their beard policy is starting to make a lot more sense.  Shaving is an enormous hassle, and the cost of razor blades just makes it worse.

The other day, we are in the store and a package of replacement blades for our Gillette Mach 3 is retailing for $21.  And they package these things in a way where you have no idea how many blades are in the package - oftentimes a blank "filler box" is behind the blades, making it appear there are more in there.

$21 for some plastic injection-molded heads with three blades in them is just scandalous.  The actual cost of making these is probably along the lines of $3.

How do I know this?  Well Winn-Dixie now sells a competing product, and their blades sell for $7 for the same size package.  Even factoring in that I have to buy a new handle ($6) this is a better deal than the Gillette refill pack.  And if Winn-Dixie can sell the razors for $7, then you know that $21 is wildly overpriced.

 Winn-Dixie's Store-brand "system 3" equivalent uses a different handle mechanism.  But expect a Patent infringement suit anyway, in 3....2......1.... file!

Why are these so expensive and why do we pay so much for them?  Well, for starters, the product makers have Patents on the handles and designs, so they can control the market for the replacement heads, arguing that some odd feature of the attachment mechanism is proprietary, and thus prevent others from selling replacement heads that fit.  And this is why Winn-Dixie has to sell their own handle.

So, once you accept a certain type and brand, they have you locked in.  You buy the handle, you have to buy the blades.  HP gives you a free printer, knowing they will make it up on cartridge sales.  And they put a proprietary chip in the cartridge, so you can't refill it or buy a third party copy of it.   Apple sells the iPhone for below cost, knowing they make it up on app sales and fees from carriers.  They call this the subscription model, and it makes a lot of money for corporations.  But not for you.


And this is one reason we went from a single blade, to a double blade, to a triple blade to - well, a rotary lawn mower, I guess.  It is just to come up with a new Patented design that they can claim rights to.  And if you buy into this, well, you are spending a lot of dough.

Are these new designs better?  Not really.  Mutiple blades do cut better, but they also pull out and then cut facial hair in a manner than makes it snap back into the follicle, below the surface of the skin.  You look smooth-shaven, but some of these hairs, now beneath the skin surface, can grow subcutaneously and form ingrown hairs, which erupt in festering boils within a day or two.  The best a man can get?  To look like a pimply teenager?

I spent a half -hour in front of the razor display stand, examining the packaging and the pricing and promotions.  It was fascinating.  The cheapest shave out there is a single-blade disposable razor in a large bag package.  The cost-per-blade is cheapest in this format, which is no longer proprietary and thus mass-produced overseas and sold under generic or house brands.  However, if you remember what disposable razors were like, you realize that the double or triple blades are indeed, a nicer shave.

(Oddly enough, while searching on this topic, I came across the Winn-Dixie "Dollar Shave Club" which offered to ship razors to your door.  The promotion is no longer available).

The funny thing is, up until a few years ago, I never looked at the price of these things.  I just bought the cartridges for whatever razor system I had bought into (congratulating myself for being a sophisticated and smart consumer for "stepping up" to the then-new two-blade system!).  Eventually, they came out with a three-blade system, and I thought, "Well, OK, sure, if you really say it is better."

Then they came out with four blades and it was like, "OK, enough already with the blades, right?" and now they have five blades and I'm quite ready to burn their factory down at this point.  Bastards.

As you might imagine, each new razor has a new handle and a new "starter kit" you have to buy, so you end up tossing out the old handles.  You have to make a commitment to the new technology, which is good marketing for them, but not for you, the consumer.  If you decide that five blades is just a stupid waste, then you can't go back to four or three, without throwing away your "investment" in the handle, so you stick with it.  It is all based on grabbing you by the emotions.

What is the upshot of this?  Well, growing a beard sounds more and more attractive.  But also it makes me feel that Gillette is not my friend anymore, but a greedy bastard that just wants to take all my money.  And like Microsoft Windows, as soon as a viable alternative is on the horizon, I will run, not walk, toward it.  And when Gillette goes through the throes of bankruptcy, I will say, "Serves you right, you greedy bastards.  Weren't content just to make a useful product at a reasonable price, were ya?"  And when I see the Gillette CEO on the sidewalk with a cardboard sign saying "Hungry, please help!" I will take a piss right on him.  Serves him right.

But I digress.  And I don't really have any strong emotions about it, either way.

It just strikes me as yet another one of those "Hey Consumer!  FUCK YOU!" kind of deals that we are being presented with these days.  Everything, it seems, from our cars to our cell phones to our computers, are designed to be technically obsolete within a year or two, oftentimes for no other reason than to make the product an "orphan" so you have to buy anew.

But technology can last a long time.  And not much has happened in the last decade that has made a car or even a computer obsolete, completely.  And razor blades, despite the claims of technological improvement, have not really improved much since the days of the straight razor.  We have changed the packaging, mostly, and how the blades are attached.  That's about it.

And if you think about it, when you bought a straight razor and a strop to sharpen it with, your purchase was complete.  No need for replacement blades or anything of that sort.  The "safety razor" opened the door to making shaving a subscription service.  And while the blades were cheap, it was not a bad deal.  But today?  $21 for razor blades?  You have to be kidding.

And the subscription model turns you from an owner into a consumer - and it is flooding the market today.  HP sells printers based on price per sheet printed.  In the old days you bought a printer, owned the machine, and then made copies.  If you could get toner for cheap and paper for cheap, you could create copies at a low cost.  But the cost-per-page model (dictated by proprietary cartridge sales) locks you into a fixed price-per-page model.

Similarly, cars are being leased, and not sold.  You no longer are an owner of a piece of machinery, but a mere operator of it, for a specified time.  You can wash and wax and care for your car and drive it carefully, it makes no difference - the cost per mile of leasing remains the same for the car abuser as it does for the car-lover.

In the old model, you bought the car and became the proprietor of it, and how long it lasted and how much it cost per mile or per trip was something you had control over.  And you could save a lot of money this way.

This subscription model also plays into the cash-flow mentality, wherein the cost of things is viewed as a monthly payment, not the actual overall cost of the transaction.  And in this it is ironic that Winn-Dixie actually had a "Shave Club" which turned shaving into a monthly subscription service.  What's next, the monthly toothpaste club?

Owning can be empowerment*.  The people who own and run things are the people with wealth and control.  Mere operators or renters are just passive consumers who pay the most for the products and services rendered.  But more and more, our society is moving this way - taking us from creators of wealth to mere consumers of it, with no say or control over our own destinies, other than to say, "Gee, they have a new 10-blade razor, now!  I'll have to try THAT!" and lead us to believe that selecting consumer goods for purchase is, in fact, empowerment.

It is sad, to say the least.

And this is what I see when I spend a half-hour looking at razors at the grocery store.

* * *

* But not always.  Owning stuff for the sake of owning things can be a form of slavery.  But when you are locked into a subscription model, with monthly payments, just to be able to have a computer or a phone or indeed, a razor blade, you become a passive consumer.

Why are Coupon-Clippers Poor? (What's the Name of Your Yacht?)

Coupon clipping is a popular sport - among the poor.  

Why do people never seem to get ahead using this technique?

Couponing is all the rage these days, with the TeeVee shows promoting the practice and showing Rednecks buying grocery carts of food and paying nothing for it.  Grocery carts of food, by the way, are one of those high-index Pavlovian Response things that hooks you emotionally - like the aluminum suitcase full of hundred dollar bills in those action movies.  Damn, look at all that money!  Damn!  Look at all that food!  And FREE, too!

A lot of folks think the secret to success is in spending, not in saving.  And they will use coupons for everything.  And while not all couponing is bad, couponing is a technique that marketers use to encourage consumption and get you to spend more.

For example, the local fast-food restaurant sends out coupons for food items.  I had not planned to go there (the food is bad for you, and believe it or not, in this day and age, they put trans-fats in the biscuits!  This is Georgia, not New York!).  But hey, a coupon!  Such a deal!  I should go there!

But examining the coupon reveals that it is encouraging consumption.  The deal offered is for a large meal with a free milkshake-like thing, which I don't really want.  If you look at their regular-price menu, you can find a small chicken wrap and a side salad for $3, which is not only a better deal, is better for you.  Spending $4.99 for a jumbo burger, fries, and a shake is not necessarily a better deal, just more consumption.

Coupons are a trap, like credit cards baited with cash-back and free miles.  They are enticing, as they sell the idea of FREE, and everyone likes FREE, right?  But as we discussed, Free isn't.

No, the major Corporations of the world haven't all checked their brains at the hat stand and gone off the deep end and decided to give things away for FREE because they like you or "as a promotion".  And yea, people really believe that is the case.  But alas, it ain't so.  When something is doled out as "FREE" or discounted, usually there is a catch - and the catch is often behavioral-based, not necessarily part of the deal.

When you get that coupon for the fast-food place, they still make money.  And they hope you come back and buy again - at regular prices.  They use the coupon as bait, to get you to consume.  The grocery store offers coupons to get you into the store.  And once in the store, they hope you spend a lot of money.  Like a Casino, the Great American Grocery Store is designed to entice you and then fleece you.  And since the folks running the place know a lot more about psychology than you do, they win, nearly every time.

And many of these coupons are for packaged and produced foods made in factories, that are expensive to buy and are bad for you.  Or they are for brand-name products that, even with a coupon, are often more expensive than store brand.

And there are gags abound.   One store offers to "double manufacturers coupons!" but only up to 99 cents.  Most manufacturers coupons are for a dollar, so you don't get the doubling effect.  What sounds like a generous offer ends up being, in reality, nothing.

But what about those couponing shows, where those stringy-haired trailer-park girls walk out with five grocery carts of food and pay only $5?  Well, they are stunts.  Getting such coupons on a regular basis and finding a store that offers to double coupons, is hard to do.  Yes, once in a while, the moons align, and you can get a "free" deal or a huge discount.  And if you can take a number of those kind of deals and tack them together, you can put on a good show for the television.  And news reporters have been showcasing this sort of thing since the 1970's, during slow news days.  Today, they make entire shows out of it.

But the bottom line, for me is this.  If couponing and scheming is such a great deal, then what is the name of your Yacht?

You heard me right.  If you could really walk out of a grocery store with $500 of food, for free, every day, then you would be a very rich person, in short order, right?  And you'd have a Yacht, like Sooze Orman has.  Her's is named "Approved!" - what's the name of yours?

Don't have one?  I thought so.  Most couponers don't.  In fact, they rarely own the trailer they live in.

Why doesn't couponing work?  And when I say it doesn't work, what I mean is, why doesn't it, over time, make the couponer more wealthy?  Yes, in specific cases, you save a penny or a buck here and there, and other times get a free can of soup.  But overall, the couponers remain poor.  Why is this?

Again, the Casino Effect is at work.

You probably know a gambler who likes to go to Casinos.  And they tell you, all the time, about their big scores and how much money they won at slots or blackjack, or poker, or whatever.  But for some reason, they never get wealthy this way.  Why is this?

Well, because they lose a lot of money, too.  But they never tell you about this, of course.  In their minds, they focus on the big payout, and not on the actual costs.

Consumers in general think this way - talking about the great discount they got on their brand-new car, but failing to realize that the vehicle depreciated by three times that amount in the first month of ownership.  They got such a great deal!  And yet, the car is worth less, on the open market, than they paid.

It is human nature, I guess, to crow about our triumphs and then not think about our failures.

Now, I know what you are going to say.  "Well, rich people don't need to coupon, as they have lots of money!"  And that would be inaccurate.  Rich people are some of the cheapest people I know, and that is one reason they became rich.  So, if there was a "deal" in couponing, they would be all over it.  Moreover, if there really was a way to get $500 of food for nothing at the grocery store, they'd be doing it - and selling the food and then making millions of dollars and tooling around in their Yacht.

But funny thing, no one is making a mint at couponing - or even making a living at it.  If this was such a lucrative deal, wouldn't it be profitable?  I mean, if you can walk out of a store with free or severely discounted foods, wouldn't you be able to just live off that income?

And yea, once in a while, someone does figure out how to beat the system, such as the famous pudding guy.  But he ain't rich by a long shot, is he?   He got some free airplane rides, is about all, and cashing in frequent flyer miles is anything but fun.  Some restrictions apply as they like to say.  And while couponers like to talk about that story (like the way gamblers like to talk about the big score) no one else seems to be able to score deals like this.

And by the way, the Casinos love to tout a winner.  It keeps the suckers gambling.

If you buy a product on a regular basis and see a coupon for it, by all means use it.  If your grocery store has some promotion for free gas, and you shop there anyway, then take the free gas.  But never, ever think you are coming out "ahead" in the deal, or that the free gas was actually free.  It wasn't.  You paid for it.

If you want to make a hobby of extreme couponing, well, that is your bag.  But look around online on the couponing websites and ask yourself why all the folks on there are so middle-class and lower-middle-class.  If this was such a great deal, why aren't they all fabulously wealthy?  Why don't they all have Yachts?

And the simple answer is:  You can't consume your way to wealth, you cannot spend your way to riches.  You cannot eat your way to slimness, either.  And funny thing, the people who coupon are often the same folks who are trying to eat their way slim.

Consume less is the answer.  You can try to be a "smart consumer" but in most cases, what you think of as being "smart" is just come baited come-on advertised on the TeeVee.  If you sign up for some scheme based on a TeeVee ad, you are not being a "smart consumer" but rather just biting on a baited hook.

And the next time someone regales you with how much they won at the Casino, or how much they saved in coupons, just ask them this simple question:  "So, what's the name of your Yacht?"

Freedom To Make Bad Choices

Freedom of Choice also means Freedom to Make Bad Choices.

A lot of people are angry these days, convinced that we are heading down a road to Socialism, or worse, Totalitarianism.  "Michelle Obama can't tell me what to eat!" one lard-ass exclaims, as he changes the cartridge on his insulin pump.

But she really isn't.  At least at this point, all she is suggesting is that maybe if you stopped stuffing your face with fried mayonnaise balls and washing it down with sweet tea, you might not be a human turd in an electric wheelchair.  And it is a good suggestion.  I suggest you take it.


But there are efforts afoot to make us choose better, for example, by taxing "bad" foods more, so that our choices are directed toward better ones.  Supposedly, in New York City, there are incentives being offered to street cart vendors to offer healthier fare, and sales of veggies are taking off.  Is the famous New York street cart Hot Dog going extinct?  What's next?  The Washington, D.C. "Half Smoke?"  Say it ain't so!

But we have already been down this road, with cigarettes, taxing them into the stratosphere.  Proponents of this measure will say it merely reflects the actual cost of smoking and thus makes the smoker pay for the entire process, "cradle to grave" so to speak, rather than leaving the bill for their cancer treatment on Medicaid's doorstep.  Opponents call it government coercion.

In Canada, they do this a lot.  Gas is expensive.  Cigarettes are expensive.  Booze is expensive.  Anything bad for you has a "sin tax".

Some call this creeping socialism.  Others call it the "nanny state."  It is an interesting conundrum.  How do you encourage people to do what is right, when what is wrong is so tasty and attractively packaged?

But government "coercion" has been going on for a long time, and if you are afraid of living in a "Nanny State," well, wake up - you are already suckling at the teat of your Gub-Ment Momma as it is.

Yes, home mortgage interest deductions encourage us to buy homes.  Social Security and Medicare fund our retirements.  Various forms of welfare are paid out to people in the form of food stamps, welfare, unemployment, and the like.  And let's not forget our Corporate friends - going after tax breaks and tax incentives, as well as fat government contracts like young pigs fighting for a teat at their Mother's belly.

Nanny State?  We already have a Mammy State, my friend.  Now come here for a little sugah....

But all that being said, we still do have a panoply of choices in our economy, and this was made apparent to me in a trip to the grocery store today.  The American Grocery store is a miracle, of course, and we are lucky to have such a huge selection of goods to  choose from.  Beats Communism by a country mile.

But - and this is a big but - there are a lot of poor choices you can make in a grocery store.  In fact, most of the items offered are poor choices.  Probably 90% of the crap they sell there is stuff you should never, ever buy.  Seriously! And people feed this crap to their kids, too.  Sugar and starch and crap.

We tend to shop every 2-3 days and get fresh produce, meat, eggs, milk, and bread.  Alas, getting good fresh bread in Georgia is difficult.  But we try.  We like to prepare our own food from fresh ingredients (mostly) and thus shop often.  This is, by the way, how people used to shop, when you made meals from fresh ingredients and didn't buy food made in factories halfway across the planet.

As a result, there are whole sections of the store we never visit.  The Soda Pop aisle.  The Potato Chip aisle.  The frozen foods section.  The candy aisle.  All of this stuff is basically crap and bad for you.  And yet, we see some people who shop only in those aisles - lining up at the cash register with liters of orange pop and Pringles.  Thank God the store has a pharmacy for their insulin prescriptions!

Should we force people to make good choices?  No, we can't do that.  Should we tell them about making better choices?  Yes, and that is the idea behind the Food Pyramid and other Dept. of Agriculture initiatives.  Should we tax bad foods more to discourage consumption?  An interesting argument, but a slipperly slope.  Should we prevent food stamp recipients from buying junk food with government money?  Perhaps a better argument, but one being shouted down by the corporations selling this junk.

Yea, you read that right.  Not only do they want to sell us processed crap, they want the government to hand out foodstamp money to folks to buy it.  And typically, the people on food stamps and government assistance tend to buy the worst sort of foods, too.  Our government welfare system makes them fat and sick, and then our medicare system pays for their hospitalization.  Talk about cradle to grave!

Perhaps a better argument could be made that, if you are asking the government for food and medical care, the government has more of a right to make sure are eating well.  And while Republicans may decry this as "Nanny State" tactics, they are not afraid of forcing welfare recipients to take drug tests.

It really is the same idea, actually.  If you go to the government and say, "Gee, I fucked up my life, give me money!" then maybe the government has the right to say, "Well, sure, but since you clearly have no clue what you are doing, you have to start doing things a little differently from now on.  No more crack and Cheetos!"

Just a thought.  Since I will never be on welfare, it doesn't bother me.  And since I don't smoke crack or eat Cheetos (or consider either an inalienable right) even if I went on welfare, I would have no problem with either restriction.  But I digress....

Regardless of your politics on this issue, the fact remains that we will likely have the freedom to choose - and choose badly - in every area of our personal finances, for the foreseeable future.  And choosing badly in the Supermarket is just one aspect of this.

And walking around the supermarket and looking at all the bright colored packages and the sweet and savory looking treats and candy and chips and soda and frozen pizzas, I realized that the supermarket is a metaphor for our overall financial system.  Most choices in the supermarket are bad choices.  Most bad choices in the supermarket are colorfully packaged, heavily advertised, and look delectable.  And most of them have a 'coupon' offering you 'great savings!!!!' if you buy three or more.

Similarly, in your financial life, the worst sort of deals predominate.  For every one good deal out there, there are 10 bad ones.  And the bad ones are heavily advertised on television, are packaged in loud colors, and are baited with coupons and discounts.

A head of lettuce doesn't have an advertising campaign, a jingle, a cartoon character and a movie tie-in. There is no "manufacturer's coupon discount" offered.  It is just a head of lettuce. Green.  Good for you.  Not yummy or tasty, but good.  And it will make you shit regularly, which you will learn is more important as you get older.

The frozen cheese pizza, on the other hand, is heavily promoted, advertised, and discounted and has a cartoon character tie-in with a recent movie release. And it is salty and yummy!  But it will bind you up like cement and raise your sodium levels and sugar levels through the roof.

The best deals in the supermarket are the quiet deals - the things that are not advertised or obvious or jump out at you.  These are mostly the staples that only the truly smart consumers go after.  The raw products to make meals not the packaged meals-in-a-box.

And yet, there are shoppers in the supermarket that will buy the "Buy One Get One Free" frozen meal and then tell you how "smart" they are for getting bonus coupon discounts and what a chump you are for making your own salad and cooking your own meal.  Oh, but the Wheel of Karma does spin, and those "smart shoppers" will live to regret their poor choices, over time.

Similarly, in your financial life, you will be tempted by car dealers, credit card offers, and all sorts of bad bargains.  And the louder they are advertised and the more colorful and "delectable" they seem, well, the more rotten a deal they are.  This is the junk food of finances, plain and simple, and the louder the ad, the worst it is for you.  But they sound so tasty, don't they?

The best financial deals are quietly advertised, if at all.  A good, late model used car, from an original owner (individual, not a dealer) is not hyped or shouted about on TeeVee.  You talk to the owner and you buy the car.  It is not like going to Chuck-E-Cheese.  But yet, most people go to car dealers and get caught up in the hoopla and get ripped off and wonder why they are living "paycheck to paycheck".  Most people buy liters of orange soda, huge bags of potato chips, and frozen pizzas, and they say the reason they are fat is because of their "hormones".

In order to be financially astute, you have to unplug from all of that.  You can't play their game.  You are not going to "win" at the supermarket by buying junk food that is labeled "LITE" and then kidding yourself it is good for you and that you got a good deal because it was BOGO.  You just have to look for the quiet deals - the fundamental transactions that are not hyped, touted, and loudly sold.  You have to look for the lettuce.

Now some folks will say, "Well, that sounds pretty sucky.  I want a pizza!  I want tasty treats!"  And you might think some frozen pizza made in a factory 500 miles away is "tasty" but I would tend to disagree.  Yes, it is a hassle, but we make our own pizza from fresh ingredients.  And it is so much better than a frozen slab of crap.

And in the same way, going for fundamentally sound finances may not sound sexy, it ends up being better in the end.  Buying a brand-new car and financing it over time - and paying a boatload of collision insurance in the process - might sound sexy at first, but it leaves you with less money to spend and less money to save.  Saving up money, and paying cash for a secondhand car might seem less desirable at first.  But after five years, in both cases, you end up with a used car in any event.  In the second scenario, you end up that much wealthier as well.

The sugar rush from soda pop and chips may be fun and all, but long-term, it will ruin your health.  The sugar rush from "having it all now" on a credit card or going into debt may be fun, for a short while, but long-term will ruin your financial health.

And funny thing, we are enticed into both traps the same way - by appealing to our inner child, who wants it all now and to heck with tomorrow.

Resisting that urge is the key.  Walk away from the bright shiny things that are designed to attract you as they are bad bargains.  You have freedom of choice in this country.  But part and parcel with that is the freedom to make bad choices.

If you make bad choices, you'll have to pardon me if I don't feel sorry for you.  At all.

The Material is Mortal Error

Getting rid of things can be hard, but it shouldn't be.

A friend is dealing with the death of his parents.  They left a house full of furniture, clothes, cars, photo albums, mementos, family heirlooms, and all sorts of crap.  What to do with it all?  He is paralyzed by it, and it is taking him months to sort through it all.

What he needs is a good house fire.  It would solve all his problems.

Other people's crap is just that  - other people's crap.  Getting all weepy and sentimental about Dad's old tools, or Mom's old mixing bowl is a pretty pointless waste of time, particularly when you have a mountain of this kind of garbage to sort through.

If you let it, this kind of thing can end up dominating your life - taking years to go through, and preventing you from living your own life.  Unless your parents are famous, you needn't set up a museum to their memory.

"But Mother always said this was a precious collectible!"   Well, that's good, maybe you can get some good money for it.  But odds are, it isn't as valuable as she said - people always over-value their own possessions - and there are studies and psychological theories to back this up.

Keeping an heirloom or keepsake because "it's worth something" is the dumbest argument you can make.  Unless it is something you want then get rid of it.   I was faced with this problem with an old shoe.  It dated from the 1700's and was probably a courting gift or display item back then.   It was too small for anyone's foot, and there was only one shoe.  It was labeled as being made by a fellow named Sands, for his girlfriend, and perhaps in 1770 it looked pretty nice, but 300 years had faded it pretty well.

So, this ugly old shoe had been handed down from generation to generation, each Mother saying, "This is really valuable" when taking it out of the box.  Everyone would oooh and aaaaah and then put it back in the box for another five years.  What is the point of that?

I have no heirs, so likely it would be thrown out when I die.  What is the point of that?

A better solution was to sell it on eBay and thus insure that (a) someone who appreciated the item would enjoy it, (b) that it would be preserved for posterity (whatever that is), (c) it cleaned up more clutter in my closet, and (d) it put $287 in my bank account.

Of course, a lot of other things just need to be thrown out - as they have no value to anyone.  The key is to not be attached to the material.  But we all do this - programmed from birth to think that owning "things" is the key to happiness and that since things are hard-fought and hard-won, they should be hung onto at all costs.

So, we put things in storage lockers and pay more in rental fees, over the years, than they are ever worth.  I have a friend who has six of these, and over a decade, has paid tens of thousands of dollars in storage fees.  He has no idea what is in them anymore.  He ends up going out and re-buying things he already owns, as he can't get at any of these priceless possessions.  Eventually, the lockers will be sold at auction, likely when he dies, or when he finally gives up and stops paying the rental fees.

My friend with the inherited house is already talking about renting multiple lockers, so he can put all this stuff in them (to sell the house) and thus give him "more time" to look over this valuable junk and sort through it all.  This is madness.  This is incipient hoarding disorder.  And yes, his parent's suffered from this form of mental illness, which is why he is struggling with a house full of crap now.

And this is sad, too, as what should be a happy time in his life - enjoying retirement and his inheritance, is going to be spent, instead, trying to re-live his parent's lives through their crap.  He will be dragged down by these nonsensical things, until it kills him.

Like I said, we all do this to one extent or another.   The key is to wake up and walk away from the material, and learn to live with less.  Buying a house so you can store your car - or boat, is nonsense.  And yet, many people do this.  And worse yet, they fill up that three-car garage with junk and then park their cars outside.  What is the point of all this madness?

Owning stuff is not a privilege or a treat, but actually a real drag.  For everything thing you own, you have to give up a small piece of your psyche.  And if you own enough, eventually, you lose your mind.  Just keeping track of it all and worrying about it will start to dominate your existence.  And the poorer you are, the worse it is.

Look around these poor neighborhoods.  Bars on the windows.  Chain link fences.  Mean guard dogs.  And for what?  To protect a $499 big-screen TeeVee.  What is the point of spending thousands of dollars on security to protect rapidly depreciating electronic appliances and crappy chain-store furniture?

There isn't one.  And yet more and more Americans are caught up in this nightmare.  Convinced that the crap they own is priceless and worthwhile spending thousands and thousands of dollars to maintain, move, and store.

Sometimes, it is better to just sell things and liquidate them.  My friend is already talking about putting his IKEA furniture into storage.  One month's rent will be more than it is worth!  Sell that crap to someone in your apartment building and move on.   Being attached to the material is a mistake - a HUGE mistake - in every instance.

Some folks find comfort in owning things - and find emotional security in having things.  This is all very well and fine, but I would suggest that you pick a few good things to keep and then sell the rest.  Moreover, while it can be fun to have things, having them forever is not necessarily as fun.  A car or boat, for example, can be fun, but disposing of them, when the fun is over, is better than leaving a rotting boat or car in your backyard.

It takes a long time to figure this out, or at least it did for me.  Possessions are fine and all, but are transitory things in your life - not permanent.  And perhaps we crave permanence as a means of defying death.  But it is a false God to worship, and death is inevitable.

For example, at the auto auction at Amelia Island, I once saw a fellow selling a 1968 Buick.  It was a nice car - not a particularly special model or option combination or anything.  But he had spent years restoring it to perfect better-than-new condition, and had it mounted on a display stand, so you could look underneath and see that every nut and bolt on the exhaust system was cadmium-plated and didn't have even a nick or scratch on them, much less rust.

What was the point?  The car became more of a talisman to him than a car, and he never drove it.  And as a restored 1968 Buick coupe, it was worth, well, maybe $20,000.  But the guy who bought it probably drove it, and didn't keep it on a stand.

Obsessing with perfection, obsessing with keeping things, obsessing with owning things - none of these are routes to happiness.  And the people I know who are pursuing these avenues are all in therapy, on anti-depressants, or are generally unhappy people, even if they are very wealthy and can afford lots of "things".

You can bankrupt yourself this way, too.  Buying and keeping a lot of crap not only monopolizes all your time, it takes away your money.

Just give it up.   Realize that many possessions - cars, houses, furniture, keepsakes, appliances, junk - will pass through your hands in life.  You can't keep them all for very long, and you can't take anyone of them with you.  Enjoy the times you have with them, and then sell them or give them away - or throw them away - and move on.

Life is so much more than having things.  And having things will prevent you from enjoying life.

Why Your Dirty Little Secret Isn't.

EVERYONE has a credit card crises once in their life.  But few people admit to it.

I have been away for a few days visiting friends.  I was pontificating as usual (can you believe that?) about credit card debt.

Yes, I do tend to prattle on.  One of my friends called me a "Pompous Know-It-All"  - so you can only imagine what my enemies say.

But I would rather be accused of that, than to be a meek know-nothing.  Yes, the meek shall inherit the earth, but what they meant by that was the dirt, not the planet (something got lost in translation from Aramaic.)  And being ignorant never really works out, trust me.  And the only way to LEARN is to exchange ideas and listen if someone can challenge them.

Anyway, I was going on about credit card debt and how I postulated that the entire system is rigged from the get-go to get "consumers" (what others call human beings) who are not very smart or sophisticated about finances (that is ALL of us) to bite onto the credit card deals, thinking we are being smart little monkeys, when in fact, we have put our hands into a well-laid trap.

And many folks spend YEARS clawing their way out of these pits, and many times, fall back in.

Funny thing, though, is that after I gave this little speech, several people came up to me later and said, "Well, I'm glad to hear someone else say it, because a few years ago, the wife and I got ourselves into a bit of a pickle with some credit card debt...."

And so on and so on and so on.  Everyone has a horror story to tell about credit card problems they have had.  How they got into intractable high-interest debt and had to spend years living on raman noodles to pay it all off.

Well, everyone except those folks who have yet to get into credit card trouble.  And those folks comment here regularly, with cheerful updates, "Well, so far I've paid off the balance every month, so it all works out pretty good!"

So far.

It is like the old adage about motorcyclists - there are those who have been in an accident, and those who are going to get into one.  No one escapes the inevitable.

Again, the best way to avoid credit card trouble is to have only one card with a low interest rate and a low limit (do NOT let them raise it!) and use it sparingly and yes, pay it off every month.  When you do slip up (and you WILL, they count on it, and it is human nature) you will be able to pay off the balance, as it will not be very high (low limit) and the interest will not kill you (low rate).  Higher rates, when applied as revolving charges, can escalate interest payments to the point where you are barely paying off any principle at all.

It is a lethal trap.   Dancing around the edge of it to collect bonus miles or cashback dividends is a very, very dangerous game.  One slip-up, and you are over the edge, so to speak.  And that slip-up might come as a result of something beyond your control - medical problem, car repair, divorce, or in my case, unexpected huge tax bill.

And sound financial planning is not a matter of trying to use trickery or "deals" to get ahead, but to plan not only for ordinary financial situations, but also the "worst case scenarios" - such as not getting a paycheck for six months, for example.

But getting back to our topic, what I realized, hearing the same story, over and over again, from people, is that what we think of as our "Dirty Little Secrets" are not dirty, they are not little, and they should not be secrets.

Why is this?  Let's explore:

They are not Dirty:  Human beings are prone to failure.  I estimate, on a good day, the average human operates at an efficiency rate of about 1-2% tops.  We are horribly vain, easily distracted, lazy, and prone to every sort of weakness.  It is part and parcel of being human, so get over it.

So, it follows that we all will make horrible financial mistakes - even Warren Buffet.  Even Donald Trump.  Especially Donald Trump, who has been to bankruptcy court so many times, they've named a courthouse after him.  Remember the Trump Shuttle?  The Trump Princess?  We all fail, so get over it.  And as "The Donald" has aptly illustrated, there is life after failure - playing a Billionaire on Television, for example.

Never fear failure.  But never fail to learn from it.

So, you  should never be ashamed of your faults or misdeeds or mistakes.  You are human.  God forgives you.  But to keep doing the same stupid thing over and over again just pisses God off, and he will let you know this, in a big way.

Shame is the key to preventing you from learning from your mistakes.  We all like to "put out of our mind" the mistakes we made in the past.  Or we externalize our mistakes by blaming them on others.  That new car I bought wasn't a mistake I made, right?  No, it was a crappy car, that's why it depreciated so quickly!

No, that is not the answer.  The car was what it was. I made the mistake of buying it and deciding that a want was a need.  To "put it out of my mind" would be the worst thing to do - as to do so would allow me to be enticed into yet another crappy new-car deal.

So I remember this shameful event, and every time I drive by a new-car dealer, I remember what scumbags these people are (used car dealers too, especially!) and vow not to go in.  No deals there, period.

Our pride forces us to try to forget our mistakes - to hide our dirty laundry - and thus forget that we even made such mistakes.  This is the worst thing you can do.

And everyone makes the same mistakes, so there is no shame in admitting them to yourself, or to others, as we shall see.

They are Not Little:  That car I bought for $25,000 and sold five years later for $8000 (after "upgrading" it with another $5000 of parts) was not some small mistake.  That amount of money represents, over time, enough to live on, for two to three years, in retirement.  This is not a trivial amount of money.

Multiply that by the number of mistakes most people make, and, well, you understand why a lot of people today are facing retirement on Social Security and nothing else.  And I've seen it - it sucks.  You can't afford to go anywhere, or do anything.  If your car breaks - you're stuck, because chances are, you can't afford another car or to have the one you have, repaired.   You spend your "golden years" counting pennies and clipping coupons and listening to your friends tell you all about their trip to Italy.

Financial foul-ups can put you into debt for years, even decades, and you will end up as a virtual salary slave trying to earn money to pay off debts.  This is serious business, and to shrug off a $20,000 loss as "oh, well, that was a stupid move!" is not a good idea.  If you do that, you live in denial about the value of money and the impact of financial errors.

Again, you are going to make mistakes, that is a given.  But don't trivialize them and then go on to make them again and again.

Most people do just this - for example, they buy a brand-new car every three years, and wonder why they are broke and living "paycheck to paycheck" all the time.

They Shouldn't Be Secret:  The financial industry, like any good con artist, relies on the silence of the mark to perpetuate their frauds.  If a sucker gets conned by a Patent Medicine salesman, chances are, he won't tell anyone, out of shame.  So the Patent Medicine man can sell more of his toxic junk to others, as they haven't been warned.

And this is true in finances.  No one wants to say, "Gee, I was a chump when I refinanced my house - I added over $5000 to the balance of my mortgage just in fees and points, and then tacked on $20,000 in credit card debt!  DUMB!"

Because, if you say that, people will ridicule you, even thought they did the same thing.  Men in particular are all wound up by their penises and testosterone, to be "providers" and posit themselves as financially astute and responsible people.  Men are the worst at this game - they go out and buy a Camaro or a Jet Ski, to try to show off their apparent wealth, while secretly destroying their real wealth.  And they would never, ever admit to their pals that they made stupid financial mistakes.  It would be like admitting, in High School, that you were still a virgin!

And it is funny, but people sometimes get uncomfortable when I talk frankly about finances.  You can talk frankly about sex all day long - they have no problem with that.  But speak specifically (not in the generalities favored by the paid financial gurus) and they squirm in their seats.  Because you are making them remember their own "Dirty Little Secret" that they hoped no one would find out about - and they could forget, themselves.

But if we don't learn from our own mistakes - and can't learn from others - then how the heck will we learn at all?  We won't - and we can't.  There are only three ways to learn, and when you shut down the two most obvious ones, well, chances are, the third ain't gonna work for you.

So, what does this all mean?

1. It means, don't be ashamed to be human, and to make mistakes.  It happens. 

2.  And if you are young and yet to make huge mistakes, don't assume you are immune.  Every Wunderkind has a massive failure ahead of them, which is why I always say, "fail early, fail often." 

3.  LEARN from mistakes - it the best thing you can salvage from them. 

4.  Don't repeat mistakes again and again.  Don't assume that the next new car deal will be better or "this time for sure!" you've found the perfect credit card - or MLM scheme.

5.  TELL OTHERS - it is embarrassing, yes, but it is also a sign of courage, when you can lay bare you own misdeeds and warn others about it.  They may thank you for it later.  Or they may ridicule you and call you a fool.  Don't sweat it.  Most fools are lauded as visionaries, and most intelligent people are called fools - at least initially.

Because, when you get right down to it, your Dirty Little Secrets are hardly dirty, hardly little, and should not be kept secret.